dandelions, parcels and fragments

by ty

-continuation from dandelions sheeps and beauty stuff https://tyranium.wordpress.com/2013/07/18/dandelions-and-sheeps-and-beauty-stuff-lmao/

It had been a long road trip. perhaps driving never bored him because it had been his passion, something he would love to do besides mending things. He laughed at the times he actually considered not having a job but rather driving everywhere he could. It was true his car hadn’t been anything special or classy but he felt a connection with it; as much as he felt linked to his tools, he felt like his car had been his best friend, a reliable one. Afterall nothing satisfied him more than the fact that even if he was sick and unable to walk, his car would very much willingly take up the jobs of his weary limbs. Perhaps this was the reason why he never had much of a second thought about society. Perhaps he was too satisfied with what he had, he felt that the company he got from these daily necessities filled his dose of affection, his need for attention. The road had been quiet as usual as he drove by the fields of flowers watching them dance in the wind that blew through.

“A constellation of tears on your lashes. Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes. In the end everything collides”The same song blared through the old speakers throughout the three hour drive so far. He had an odd liking for this song. Burning everything you loved, burning the ashes, this seemed peculiar to him. Honestly he never really understood or found out the full lyrics of the hyped up song yet he had his own interpretations. It had been far from the actual honestly, but he felt it had something to do with letting go; likewise he sighed as he muttered, “if I let go maybe things would be better huh, better than moping about.” And this had been the same reason why he began this drive heading to the city, heading to the owner of this little box.

At times he wondered who this person was; whether it was a guy or a girl, whether it was a girl with tresses as beautiful as she did, or whether it was a man who could have been as foolish as he was. He shrugged wiping the beads of sweat down his forehead. It was a mystery, this little bit of suspense leaving a tingling feeling in his heart; it had been new. He knew what excitement had been yet it was different from the times he would eagerly open up the packaging to reveal his new job but rather he felt excited about this being a new start, a new beginning, a chance for him to find a new him; and it meant a lot to him.

Reaching the city sent a jolt through his memory as he recalled the moments he spent with her. Those that felt real, yet weren’t as real as he thought they were. He smiled as he watched the people rush by along the gravel pavements in the city lights. It had been awhile since he watched the busy men rush down the streets clad in office wear carrying their leather briefcases; it had been awhile since he last saw middle-aged women trudging down the streets in their black stiletto heels; it had been awhile since he felt that much life. He pulled over in an alley behind the grey buildings that sat around the skyscraper. Setting foot onto the road he pulled his coat tightly as he clutched the box tightly in his pocket. It was time, he supposed, to meet someone, and thank the person. Being awkward, he shivered; but not this time, he wouldn’t leave without explaining himself well.

The cool air washed over him as he entered the lobby of the apartment. Lost in his thoughts of his perfect speech without knowing it he stood outside the white door. He took a deep breath before he pressed on the cold doorbell, his fingers stiffening at the cold touch. A warm voice rang out from behind this entrance as the lock opened and the door swung open. Perhaps it had been that moment he swore he couldn’t move an inch of his body.

It had been twenty years, and today she stood before him once again.Yet she hadn’t been the one who once gave him a false love; but she had been the one who grew up with him – that one girl who would sit quietly in the corner on a sunny day in the class rather than joining the other kids out in the field, the one girl who would take neat notes on the thin pages of her notebook while the other kids laughed at her for being what they called a nerd, the one girl everyone left alone, casting her into a pit of alienation. Shy as she was, she stood before him with her reddish brown eyes wide open. In that instant the memories of him seeing her cry in the dark corridors returned to his whirl of a mind, that rainy day he found her, the rainy day he first talked to her, listening to her velvety voice. And after those moments, her name came back to him.

“Jen?” he uttered after the few seconds of awkward silence.

She looked down shyly as her curls fell perfectly over her shoulders, “Yeah, hey there.”

Perhaps it had been those few seconds he experienced paralysis. Handing the box over her, he felt a different sensation, the feeling of a tingling triangle, the feeling of warmth.

“I never knew it was you…but thanks for this box. Don’t you remember where it came from? That day..” she spoke as she rotated the little box in her thin palm, “This box, was what you gave me and I guess i kept it like this until a week ago when it broke. I asked Ruby about it and she gave me your address so I sent it there to get it repaired, I guess the coincidence just..”

Ruby? He stoned for a moment thinking of the times he stared into Ruby’s vermilion eyes, perhaps her leave did him good, maybe she planned this for him? He wouldn’t know, and he didn’t want to. “Oh, well its done now so, keep it well I guess..”

Smiling, she nodded; that familiar expression he remembered from years ago, the glint in her eyes when she first saw the box, she played with it for a few seconds before the tears stopped falling, and he left her like that. Had it meant something more than an attempt to make her feel better, perhaps it had been something that led to her realisation that not all people were bad, and surprisingly twenty years later the same box brought the same effect on him. It had been a simple conversation before he left, with yet another piece of paper with her number on it – if he needed to talk he could find her. Perhaps that was a good start.

Leaning on the bars in the lift, he stared at his reflection in the lift doors. Ruffling his hair, he smiled, feeling true joy after such a long time; perhaps he found it, he found his closure, he found his own happiness.

Clenching the pink post-it note, he grinned as he left the lift.