by ty

de(xei)mber part iii. – friend dedications and rants.

Somehow I didn’t plan friend dedications to be here and thought I’d put it somewhere closer to the actual christmas day but eventually being the weird person I am, I thought that after having the fl dedications earlier on as the second one, I couldn’t not do the friends one next because I’m just like that. But besides that, the friends dedications will be for people who contributed greatly to helping me stay sane throughout the course of this school year and I don’t know if it actually matters to you guys or if it doesn’t make sense to you guys that I’m writing bullshit on this odd blog for you but in any case. It’s the end of the year and its almost christmas and hence its time to appreciate. Before my cheesiness gets annoying I will proceed.

1. stupid catfish – there there, your second post has made its appearance. thinking back though, its been three years since we first met and I’m not going to go all high and reminisce about everything that happened over the course of these three years because I already did so in your birthday post in October so your eyes won’t die and of course you won’t find me too naggy. But that being said, wow time really does pass very quickly. And somehow or rather after being in the stupid squad together, we’re still in the stupid squad. # what # lame # bye. I mean, whispers I’m losing my literacy and I blame you. Let me reminisce a little but I won’t go all the way back – I’ll go to when we first joined fls and rps and everything amusing and nice because hey that happened this year and since its within the bijou locus of 2014 I will go forth and speak of it. Honestly lets just keep it as akaiito was bittersweet. Having a nice rp where we could actually write was precious especially because running through the list of rps available on aff now, there aren’t any of these anymore. It was beautiful to write with the literate writers who had their distinctive writing styles and there I found my odd attachment to d.o rpers, but besides that – we found ourselves involved in this huge tension thing with special members and face chasers and somehow it crumbled like that. Now thinking of that I want to cry but laugh and I don’t know what I’m saying. Euphoria was sweeter, funnier and full of stupid moments. We were high and speaking of bullshit, and on fl too, you’d steal my phone and ruin my image and I’d ruin yours (if we had any images to speak of to begin with) and those were really great memories because even though I know you in real life and whether you’re in fl shouldn’t be that much of a difference – fl is definitely still nicer with you around because jongbutt and gnomes and catfishes and more stupid bullshit. I’m done reminiscing but that’s besides the point, the point is we’ve been through a lot of things together and you’ve seen me at my troughs of my mood curve, you saw me get to the peaks and I’m most thankful for you being there all the time when I needed help (besides the times when you were uncontactable because your phone got confiscated and it still is like dude can you not, jk.) And its nice that you aren’t the kind that will cling and do stupid irrelevant things when I’m upset even though you do irrelevant and stupid things that actually help, while giving the space I need so hey thank you. Though I do apologise that as you get to know me better and you hang around more I lose the need to keep myself presentable and decent at all times and so when I crumble or get to the lower ends of the mood curve you might see me ranting a bit more and being more curt, and perhaps even pmsing in a subtle manner towards you and I might lose my temper or say bad things but do know that I mean no harm or anything because you’re still the precious snowflake! And keep writing poetry, and keep being the high stupid dongsaeng, and keep writing. And also, good luck for next year! It’ll be a difficult year because it’ll get a lot more hectic so do remember to sleep lesser in class and pay more attention because I think catching up might take a longer time than usual- and I’ll probably try to be there to bother you when you fall asleep so that you can listen in class, even though that risks you being half-drunk and asleep and glaring at me and being mean and trying to kill me. coughs. But anyway, take care and enjoy the rest of the holidays! And I’ll see you on the 15th.

2. stronkefred – I cannot adapt the stronkerino thing into your name I swear its too difficult for me. does stronkefred work, because it sounds like some zombie on crack. kidding. But once again wow haha I’m going to say something similar to what I wrote for jh above because similarly its been three years but how are we still awkward – qotd. But I’m not complaining because the awkwardness actually feels comforting at times. (do I make sense) Nonetheless, the awkwardness is decreasing a lot and with the sort-of new year resolution you told me about the other day I’m pretty sure it should get better next year haha. I’ll be setting a similar new year resolution so that should work better, if I actually stick to it that is. But besides that, its christmas and its time to appreciate and say thank you and therefore I will be cheesy as hell. jk. But. I keep saying but. But anyway haha thank you for being there in the stupidest ways possible like honestly you’re a very weird person but in the good way. (this thing I’m writing for you has no structure- lit student fail) Since it has no structure I will reminisce and try to think of something. For some reason the only thing I think of when I try to reminisce is the time when you came to school with a very stupid haircut and me and jh spent the entire morning laughing at you like deranged hyenas. And the time when you acted gay as hell, which is probably everyday. And the time when I made a crack edit of you, which I still have on my computer and phone. And the time when you owed me ice cream but I haven’t claimed it till now because I never have time or the chance to and when I have those, I’m lazy. And the time when being part of the awkward squad at the start of the year I would camp in class during breaks and you being you will appear behind sitting there and I’ll smell waffles and get hungry and cry because I’m too lazy to go eat # jk. And the times when our conversations make no sense at all but somehow its comforting and warm and dude the hugest memory is still using weird stickers and all of the weird things you say. (And how me and sneha still think that you really resemble wu yi fan) And how your awkwardness reminds me of Jinwoo from winner (go search him you butt). No but really its very very adorable how me and jh practically treat you as a sister/child. jk. But anyway! Next year will be really busy and tiring and hectic so good luck and stay happy and high, and stay the stupid but adorable idiot you are because. bunny stickers and stupidity. And also stay healthy and buff and don’t walk in the rain dude you might get sick (even though its really very fun) I feel like your mom rn. as usual tbvh. And haha our new year resolution of being less awkward shall work out somehow and remember to work with us for lit smh unless you want to be slaughtered again. and well, lastly- remember not to stare at people. winkwonk. jknobye.

3. the pink endearing kawaii fluffbutt of a zhixuan – claps for you because you got the longest name!! haha. I’ve known you for three years with a little gap in the middle and from my memory it feels like you’ve changed a lot since year one in a good manner. Not that I’m complaining about who you were in year one but I just noticed a change and I really like how you are right now and if you didn’t change then, its just my head. But besides that, reminiscing time! haha, this year we being the rash people we are decided to go for talent search and ended up auditioning with me even being there on the excuse of being at the doctor’s for my knee. We got through, and ended up meeting so frequently – and along the way we changed many things. And I’m not going to harp on this too much because I plan to make a rkktz or toll on post later on, but I’m a little afraid that it might bother people like tzekay because I’ll be tagging him in two posts so I’ll probably tag you only. Because not everyone appreciates how naggy I am. But besides that, I’m really thankful for that chance because through the many practices we had together we grew much closer and ended up being able to rely on each other like tofus. And it was great getting closer to you and understanding you better because you’re really a precious snowflake too. You’re always like this sense of comfort? In the sense that being around you always feels really comfortable and haha we’ve got a bunch of stupid memories to our names too, don’t we! Like when we had practices on Wednesday mornings behind the auditorium – when you were dancing in front of the toilet door and it suddenly swung open and a guard/janitor came out and you were startled, when we proclaimed our love for the wall because we were too awkward to dance when we decided to film our progress, when we would jump everywhere aimlessly because we were lazy, when we came for practice and started to look at exo pictures and you decided that you liked sehun, when we spazzed over jongin’s body waves being like water flowing in a steady stream, when we spazzed over how white sehun was, when we spared about puddings, your muses about a goat, saying adorable things- and being the genuine adorable person you are. Ah, that’s it- the thing that makes you special is how genuine you are around us and I really appreciate that because. you’re kawaii. kya. I sound weird rn. But its been a great time around you, and your mood might waver from time to time but just remember that we’re always here for you and likewise I really can’t do much for you because of how I can’t go places on my own or go out with you on any occasions but if you need someone to rant to I’ll always be there, like my dms on tyrcnt and futxmaki will both be open to you anytime if you need someone to talk to and all and here’s to another nice year together! haha next year will be hectic, tiring and packed, and inevitably taxing so really, take care of your health! try to rest up as much as you can during the holidays and even when school starts, remember to get sufficient sleep. kya ily.

4. field of feels – senpai. the only thing that i could think of when i tried to think of a nickname for you was field of feels because I guess that was one of the most adorable memories I had of you haha. But reminiscing is a must in this post and so I’ll begin. We only got to know each other this year, and the understanding and solace came really slowly in little trickles with some blockages along the way but I guess with zx and jh as catalysts, and the fact that we wrote as another catalyst, and adding on our common interest in fan fictions and exo, we eventually got closer and I’m really thankful. Though I honestly see you as a role-model in several aspects ranging from your confidence in speaking, in writing, in being the person you are, and the evident zest you have for your studies and achieving excellence. Its really something that inspires me greatly because, well, you know how lazy I am haha. And I grow reliant on people easily so I apologise if I get a bit clingy once in awhile haha. But besides that, given how busy you were this year I can only imagine how taxing it might become next year so I’ll just leave these here : (i) please please take care of yourself amongst your packed schedules because rest and staying healthy and happy and high and kawaii is really important! (ii) please get enough sleep kya and I hope that well, your sleep patterns get better somehow- (iii) while being busy and all remember to drink enough water and keep writing because writing is always the most sturdy outlet we could have (iv) keep writing fanfics if time permits because honestly over the course of the year I read your fics occasionally, and there has been a huge improvement like the feelings are really well-grasped and the emotions and flowing in flawlessly so keep going and I hope you’ll have time for writing! (v) I’m sorry if I sound naggy or anything but regardless, ily kya. And let’s have another high and stupid school year together!

5. the dude with crazy skills, tzekay – your name here comes from you and your crazy improvement during talent search, like legit. (please continue dancing and come join dance club kya, jk) But besides that, since its a christmas thing and I spill everything when I write things for people, and I don’t think I’ve written anything for you before so I apologise upfront if I say anything wrong or anything weird or anything because haha I’m naggy when I write. (I apologise) But still, I’m really thankful for being in 302 and doing talent search with you guys because through the course of this year my impression of you and a few others changed entirely and I’m really grateful that my perspective changed because inevitably you guys made my year much more memorable and comfortable. (I’m actually awkward writing this so don’t judge me) From dancing with the group and trying to teach you to do body waves along with kaiyi, through nagging at you to train for the dance itself with weights, after having misunderstandings here and there, after being stupid idiots dancing in colourful shirts on stage, after spending forever trying to choreo but ending up flailing, I can say that those were the highlights of this year because nothing got close to the satisfaction and everything but besides that! I guess through the year I really respect you for your ability to do well in things once you set your goal because I usually don’t ever have that amount discipline to actually stick to something that firmly- so wow, claps for you. Also, despite how cheesy it sounds, you did contribute to making 2014 much more bearable despite bullshit because of how funny you are daily like dude me and jinghan and thirrisha and just sit down and laugh at you and gerald daily and everything and haha such memories. But anyway, next year is year four and it’ll be tiring and hectic so take care and have a good rest I guess? and jiayous with everything and if we’re doing toll on/ rkttz again, we need to meet soon haha. Anyway thanks a lot for everything and heh. Don’t judge me for this tyvm.

6. mrs fluffbutt, sneha – It has been three years and we’re still as stupid as ever. Reminiscing, we met through dance club because I saw y’all being fabulous up on stage and started to contact you because of how persistent I was to join dance club in the beginning of year one and somehow we clicked and we’ve been dorks with retarded conversations ever since, given that we found more similarities and common areas of interest including writing, dancing, kpop, we used to love big bang like crazy people with other fangirls on twitter, we fell in love with vixx, we went through combined concert like yolo with weekly sessions on the concourse and we really do share many memories, regardless of whether they were pleasant or unpleasant. We argued, undoubtedly but we got over it and I’m very thankful for you being there since forever. Its lovely to have someone to rant to without being afraid of being judged, and I apologise that when you have problems I don’t have much to offer. But despite that you stuck by over the years and I really appreciate that. It’s christmas and its happy time kya let’s think of stupid moments – (i) you once dropped pizza on the floor after a lit meeting and decided to use the pizza to clean it, as if it wouldn’t make the floor dirtier- (ii) you tried to be a pedo along with yx and always went like pew pew, you’re pregnant. (iii) birdwatching everywhere (iv) “tomorrow will be a wonderful day, i can feel it in my bones [creepy smiley emoticon] (v) we used to tag each other on tumblr happily like tumblr was at its best then (vi) we write things and share it with each other (vii) we fangirled over wolf together on the morning it was released together in school in the concourse in place of birdwatching, once. (viii) you sat on a banana, even though i wasn’t there. (viiii) you’re just kawaii and there’s too much for me to write. dude, but still thanks for always being there! And next year is time for hostel so I hope you enjoy your year! And keep dancing, stay healthy and happy and thanks for being around and hey, take care! I will hunt you down a lot next year so, winkwonk.

7. panda manda senpapi – senpai material 300%. no I’m still very much upset that you have graduated and there’ll be no more senpai strolling into the canteen in a black sweater with pretty legs waving like an awkward little kawaii shit (i mean tall, because tall and not little). But there’ll still be taekwoon awakening from the dead aka dota on euphoria right? haha, its been a great year because I feel like thanks to euphoria and thanks to roleplaying we actually got closer. I know that over the years we had some problems like little quarrels and things that we didn’t agree on, such as in year one (that i really appreciate because even though we just met you genuinely were there, and i was just- odd to not listen to you but that’s not the point because looking back i really appreciate it) and during combined concert days, wow it was chaotic. But this year got better and I realised once again, that you were still the lovely, warm, fluffy senior. And I might’ve been just a crazy little kid being a bit too abrasive over the years- but eventually, I thank you a lot for being there this year and being adorable on euphoria, for helping me during my talent search days with moral support saying that I was like a version of kai and all and during dance camp too when I got so clingy and reliant on you that I wonder if I bothered you and all but thanks for everything kya. hope your university issues are going well and that you’ll come back often because I’ll miss you and d ude I didn’t take a picture with you before you graduated. stomps angrily. but anyway kya ilysm take care!

I feel like that concludes everything because there are some others that I will be too awkward to mention. but anyway, thanks a lot for being there and being adorable and helping me stay sane. kya. ily.