we might all agree that there’s nothing more assuring than burning up, feeling the heat upon your skin, and seeing fire in the rawest form of your entity, in which you see fire in the fact that you’re going in the converse direction over and over with the foggy images of sepia memories and warm touches. you’re seeing fire in the fact that perhaps, you’re close to the beginning of a journey where you’d recall nothing but the adrenaline rush and the sharp edges of cold winds pumping through your veins at sunset.
i’ve always wondered why having the lights shining upon my inferior frame was good all the same. it felt as though i’d attribute it to the sweaty palms and heavy breaths, even though i knew it was because the audience would be cast over with dark clouds in which they could see me but i couldn’t see them. here’s the thing, we’re amusing, because people love finding comfort in the unknown. if we aren’t aware, it’s alright because there’s a high chance that it doesn’t exist – this statement barely holds true, but we believe it anyway, because we’d take everything we’ve got just to find something that hits home.
so like they all say, iron and rewind me back to the start, such that when i press my palms against the mirrors, my hands no longer burn. such that when i move across the floor with cautious steps and hesitant breaths, i don’t find myself lost in starch monochrome films.
i guess people realise things, when they’re a painkiller away from the quota for daily dosages. when they begin to get a little afraid of the feeling of pills slipping through their parched throats. they all say we’re most afraid of what we want most, and if its comfort in the form of physical health, emotional stability and the ability to deflect afflictions, i wouldn’t mind going through a period of trembling hands and hastened footsteps. and at some point of time, people stop eating themselves inside out, alive. they learn to be somewhat tactful, and give themselves the luxury of time to make it around the bend to recharge, to question, and to push themselves – for the best reasons : because if you’ve been forcing me to work with your own bare hands then push me back out of my drunken stupor with pale skin against cloth. if you’ve been building a monstrosity out of what could have been a carefree soul, then take responsibility. if you’ve been keeping me close, don’t expect me to leave, neither should you expect me to stay.
and she found something all so magical in everything she broke with her bare hands, right when she let her guard down.
a single breath in winter.