it’s no longer a matter of where he ends and where she begins when you’re faced with a fury of blurry reflections. it’s much more of an issue than being unable to concentrate when the strong beats can no longer drown the voices echoing within the very physical containment of your head.
and it’ll take much more than painkillers and kind words, because when your own bones are getting too heavy for you to handle, there’s nowhere you can deposit these. in other words, as much as we traverse alone, we die alone. that being said, i do admit to being unreasonable and what’s left is a soft reminder to those around me that we cannot get too attached only because i’m not someone dependable. there are things that push me off my equilibrium even though the trigger was less than a slight tremor, nothing means as much as family to me, neither does anything fulfil my caving self as well as hurling this shell across parquet flooring. things that make up the fundamentals of my structure are things that i cannot lose, neither am i willing to deteriorate. when necessary perhaps, acquaintances and warm hugs may fall short, and i’d fail to see the repercussions of pushing friends aside for the sake of personal fulfilment.
but it’s always worth it, because i guess, everyone can afford to be a little selfish. just a little.